once again, i dream. and on this night, i fly in silence ~alone, truly alone. i am invisible in the abstract and unchartered spaces where the experiences of the body connect with and are channelled through the consciousness, seeking expression. in the dream i am invisible, but tonight not to myself. for this is why we dream. like everything else in a body that evolves and moves and senses, dreaming serves a purpose through the spitting up of images, emotions and metaphors. it is a communication with the unseen/unfelt parts of ourselves. a source of inspiration and information.
unfettered, on this night, i follow the weave in the sock (to borrow some words from deleuze and guattari) in all directions. ahhhh d+g, you speak to me in my dreams from the bottom of a pool of quicksand. even here, up in this space, i can hear your muffled voices bubbling up, slowly, lazily, from the sediment.
how delightfully easy it is here, to lose sight of the sock. to see only threads placed over under over under, to move into the pockets of air between the warp and the weft. i fly and nothing makes sense and i love it because it is what it simply is ~ air ~ and not caring is the only language that counts here in the spaces between the threads.
sometimes, there is a blankness when i awake, sharp nothingness. other times, i am left with a wafting trace of something, a tenuous feeling that evaporates along with the frayed orange edges of the early morning light, carried off somewhere by the creatures singing outside my window. but this time, when i awake, there is a strange, deep sensation that stays with me, persisting………
in this dream, i fly across electric valleys, soaring high into sapphires, then dipping and merging with a shimmering blanket of emeralds that have pushed their way up through the surface of the earth to meet me, taking the form of sparkling trees.
in the place where
the sapphire meets the emerald.
flows, moves, shifts
through the layers between their surfaces.
i don’t care for sense,
only the flickering stories emerging
from dense emptiness.
having travelled down a valley and around a mountain, a moment comes where something changes. i feel the foreboding before i see it manifested~ it pulses in dark, menacing waves, threatening to pull me in. if i believed in evil (i don’t, at least not rationally…) and were able to look at it with only the eyes (is that possible?), this is what i would see~ a tall skyscraper, made of black glass, at least a hundred stories high, having emerged from the most unlikely place, pushed its’ way out, following the same natural lines as the trees. how did it come to be here? in this place?
some other sense that i cannot identify tells me that it belongs here. it is square, rigid, and shiny, and unlike the sparkling and integrated jewel-like fabric of the air, the sky, the ground, the shininess on the building is simply a coating, hiding a dark pestilence that sweats, rots and breaks down beneath its’ smooth surface. it breathes and pulses ~it is alive~ and with each pulse, it shimmers. appearing and disappearing, coming and going. it is eternal.
*all is light and dark and everything in between. all is connected. this structure is the concentrated and dense manifestation of the things i don’t like to see or feel or hear. backed into a corner, it was as if it had only this space to emerge and so all its foulness was driven out of this small pore in the earth with a pestilent vengeance. the structure has evolved in such a way that whilst glaringly obvious when the light hits it in particular ways, it has also learned to blend into the background, simply for the sake of survival. it is this idea of “blending” that has stayed with me as the days have passed. the darkness that hides in plain sight…………………………